I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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