Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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