Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
