the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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