these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i already hear my dad disowning me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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