I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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