I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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