its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
