Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
