do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
