the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
