i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
