Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
