My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
