I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
