I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
kristin has been a bad kristin
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
