is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
