imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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