just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
