is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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