So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
