I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
