I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize