grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
