How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
