I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
