I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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