Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
