:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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