omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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