do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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