Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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