I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
