Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
