My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We talked him into tasing himself.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
