Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so let's talk penis.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
