hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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