after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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