Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
