She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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