Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize