never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
