when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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