Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
