Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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