she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
