Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
