i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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