have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
