i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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