i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
