do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she looked like the before picture.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
