Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
