I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
