What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
