that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
